1. |
Ghost Variations
05:37
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God, I’ve forgotten how to pray
I don’t know how to talk to you
And at the end of the day
Maybe I just don’t want to
So here goes nothing
How am I supposed to love you
I plead, seek, and knock and somehow still I never find
The candle flickered out, the shadows grew
I fell into the empty tomb of all I thought I knew
Did I ever hear a word
I know that I am just some kid
Picking up shells on the shore of your ocean
I hold each one to my ear
And listen closely for a sign of your devotion
But I still haven’t heard a word
How am I supposed to love you
I plead, seek, and knock and somehow still I never find
The candle flickered out, the shadows grew
I’m running through your garden
Screaming “where the hell are you”
Did you ever hear a word
Weeping, trembling
People say you speak
Do you have something
You would like to say to me
Read your black book
Some words drip with red
Maybe I mistook
You for someone in my head
Maybe it’s a demon
Or maybe it’s my mind
Maybe it’s both
Both at the same time
In my piano
The shrieks of silent ghosts
So many voices
Which one do I trust the most
How am I supposed to love you
How am I supposed to love you
How am I supposed to love you
Did you ever hear a word
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2. |
So Close
05:49
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I came up from the water
I swear I saw you there
Light within my father’s eyes
Tears tumbling everywhere
The angels were singing, or so I was told
For the war weary soul that gave in
Holding a rose and a fresh set of clothes
I knew a strange still within
You felt so close
I stared across the water
I dared to step right in
The ghosts of those old shipwrecks
Whistling down the wind
Ocean, my friend, are you vast enough
To put out all the fires we made
As if in response, oh you swallowed me up
And for once I was unafraid
We were so close
Rocking on my parents’ porch
Pulling out my hair
I stumbled through a feeble pass
At something like a prayer
Then like a bolt from the blue, a chickadee flew
And landed on a dish full of rain
As if in response I took off my shoes
And cried there as the mourning dove sang
You flew too close
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3. |
Night Terror
05:00
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Duck and cover, get away from the glass
Hold your breath until the thunder has passed
Oh I'm not myself
No, I’m not myself
Is it just another nightmare again
I catch a glimpse of my reflection
And it’s not quite right
Those are not my eyes
Clawing at my eyes
Let it be over
Please God, wake up
Let it be done
I see the wolf
I feel the fire
The child of wrath
The fallen one
I’m sweating bullets and I'm filled with dread
There’s something stirring at the foot of my bed
Are you my friend
Tell me you’re my friend
If you return tomorrow I can tell
I’ve got a one way ticket to hell
Can you save us all
The shadows climb the wall
Clawing at my eyes
Let it be over
Please God, wake up
Let it be done
I see the wolf
I feel the fire
The child of wrath
The fallen one
[Panic]
Throw the rabbit outside the door
You’re not welcome here anymore
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4. |
Of Certain Doubts
03:37
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Overwhelmed on Ash Wednesday
7 miles to the front of the room
I’m empty, I’m the burned-over district
Nothing left for the flame to consume
Take the soot and cross my forehead
For Lent this year, I’m giving up
Nodding like an insatiable bird
A bit buzzed and conveniently numb
{Instrumental}
How many times did I beg for mercy,
Did I pray for peace
God, I wring my filthy hands
And wash them until they bleed
Overwhelmed on Ash Wednesday
I take communion with gum in my cheek
The wine drips and stains my hands
God, forgive me, forgive me, forgive me
God, forgive me, forgive me, forgive me
Forgive me
Forgive me
Forgive me
Forgive me
Forgive me
Forgive me
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5. |
Parabola
03:42
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Oh to be grounded again
Oh to be anything at all
The toppled tree, the twisted, mangled limb
Oh what a terrible fall
At the bottom of the staircase
Crying in a crumpled heap
Careless boy, you took it all too fast
Knocked out your milk teeth
Is this your fate
Forever falling away
It’s getting late
The sun’s gone and you’re so afraid
You’ll never make it back
Oh to feel grounded again
Oh to feel anything at all
When the sower went to scatter seed
Did you determine its fall
Some fell on the fertile soil
Some got choked by the thorns
As for me, I often wonder why
You ever let me be born
Standing on the precipice
Of what you wish you’d never witnessed
Pin your eyelids open wide
Take it in, the hurt, the sin
2,000 years of bastardizing
What you call the words of life
Whatever helps you sleep at night
Face your fate
Forever falling astray
It’s getting late
The sun’s gone and you’re so afraid
Fake your faith
Forsake the love you first claimed
Your face has changed
You’re drowning in the hell that you made
Will you ever make it back
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6. |
Longway
04:58
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Taking the long way home
Taking everything the wrong way
Caught up in the undertow
The waves of pavement sweep me away
Proverbial suburban drone
Nameless shapes through shuttered windows
Circumvent the night
Shadow play by kitchen light
So far gone
Too far gone
Is anyone home
Is there a home for anyone
Sodium celestial haze
Hands through sunroofs raised in praise
Our empire of light
Shadow dim and blinding bright
Just looking for a place to park
These old abandoned shopping cart hearts
Approaching nowhere fast
Dust to dust and ash to ash
So far gone
Too far gone
Is anyone home
Is there a home for anyone
Is there something I missed
Is there something that I should do
Will I know when I make it
Most days I just wanna make it through
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7. |
I Tried to Warn You
04:07
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Rise and shine, sleepyhead
Find the will to get out of bed
When the days just feel like something to survive
February overstayed its welcome
Just like always
And all the houseplants are dying
I watch you take it in stride
And wonder how much fear you try to hide
Well I notice some things sometimes
Tea kettle on the stove
Just a matter of time before it goes
What’s on your mind
It’s kinda stupid but I’m jealous of
The stacks of journals you fill up so fast
If you want, you can write all over me
I guess that I’m one to talk
It’s scary to be seen so fully and so raw
All the time
Bless your heart
You are stronger than you know
The more I see
The more my wonder grows
And darling, please believe me when I say
You’re not gonna scare me away
I tried to warn you
Are we what we thought we’d be
Don’t know what we expected, honestly
It’s been a ride
It feels like a lot has changed
You’ve gotten over your fear of planes
But when we take off, will you take my hand anyways
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8. |
25
03:32
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Once again
Around the sun
And for the fourth straight year
I’ve fooled everyone
My favorite shoes
Are filled with sand
And when the wind blows
I can barely stand
Don’t expect
Much from me
I’ll try my best
To let you down easy
Uncertainty
Uncertain me
But when you say my name
You say it so tenderly
You found me out
You found me here
But if you look closely
I think I might disappear
Don’t expect
Much from me
I’ll try my best
To let you down easy
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9. |
All the Nothing I Know
05:58
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If I’m gonna fall, then bombs away
Throw caution to the wind and come what may
My kingdom for some confidence, I know I can’t maintain
The illusion of being safe
Oh the illusion of being safe
If you’re gonna stay, then stay the same
Tell stories ‘round the fire you just made
You’re looking for a hand to hold, but you’re just too proud to say
Oh the sensation of being named
Oh the sensation of being named
When the brittle breaks
And the passion goes
What on earth do I do
With all the nothing I know
When your whole world shakes
And all you once loved goes
What on earth do I do
With all the nothing I know
[The sky unhinges its jaw]
If you’re gonna say, please say it plain
Tell everyone you know you knew my face
There’s nothing here to justify the reasons that I gave
Oh the conclusion to choices made
Oh the illusion of being safe
Oh the conclusion, the choice is made
Oh the illusion of being safe
[Winter at dusk in the abandoned parking lot; the cathedral bells disappear you]
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10. |
Revelation
05:41
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Just dying to have one unique thought
To find something clever to say
To pour out my revelation for you
The ballad of the castaway
This is my legacy
This is nothing
This is everything to me
Washed up on the shores of Rostock
Time is running away
I tattoo another tally mark
A permanent record of decay
This is entropy
This is vanity
Twenty centuries of sleep
This is everything to me
No signs or visions to impart
I watch the fire flicker and fade
I know that I will be forgotten
And somehow that has to be okay
Illuminate/Eliminate
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